Man gives heart to valentine, dies soon after


Poison candy love heart

A man has died after attempting what is being called the ‘most brainless romantic gesture ever seen’.

Giovanni Fapello, a 23 year old Gondolieri (sails a Gondola) from Venice, Italy, decided to remove his own heart and gift it to the woman he loves. He, of course, died soon after beginning the operation on himself.

While many women took to social media to say that their “boyfriend never does anything nice like that for me,” one local doctor has responded:

“Of course he died. It’s not that he did it wrong, there was no right way to do it. I don’t care what you have seen on the Zombie Sports channels. The living should not be removing organs from themselves or one other, period! Not one organ. Assume all organs do something important. Don’t even open up your chest cavity ‘just to have a look’. I really can’t stress this enough.”

Though no one is sure of exactly who he planned on giving the heart to, the would-be Casanova left a blood spattered love letter to his Valentine stating:

My body is but a vessel,
For a heart that is yours.

Without you in my life,
I can take its weight no more.

I will open my chest for you,
To fill the empty space inside.

It is you that will be,
What is inside of me.

Following in the footsteps of Vincent Van Gogh, Giovanni set the bar too high, even for himself. A hearty lesson for anyone considering a similarly grand gesture this Valentine’s day.