Think before you ink: The rise of Voodoo Tattoos


Victim of a Voodoo Tattoo artist
A typical Voodoo Tattoo design

Tattoo studios have seen a boom in business recently due to the ever growing popularity of tattoos. This surge in flesh art has no doubt been spurned on by widespread adoption amongst celebrities and athletes.

While injecting potentially carcinogenic, heavy-metal based, inks into the skin is of course relatively harmless, there is a new form of tattoo that poses a serious threat to its human canvas. The Voodoo Tattoo.

A Voodoo Tattoo is inked by practitioners of the ancient dark art of Voodoo, and often looks nothing like the design the customer actually asked for. The customers outrage will be short lived however, as the tattoo will soon turn them from a normal functioning human into a mindless zombie, completely under the control of the Voodoo artist.

To minimize the risk of receiving a voodoo tattoo vigilance is important, especially if being tattooed somewhere that you cannot see while the tattoo is in progress. There are also a number of strong indicators that your artist is practicing the dark arts.

Here are some things to look out for:

  • Does your artist speak with a strong Haitian accent?
  • Does he or she have their face painted with a white skull?
  • Is their studio decorated with dead animal parts? This is not typical for real tattoo artists.
  • Is their tattoo machine constructed from bone or metal? It should be metal.

Anyone who has been, or knows someone who has been, the victim of a Voodoo artist is urged to contact the authorities, or at the very least leave a negative Yelp review.