Are The Bees Up To Something?



The common Honeybee, long thought to be a an integral part of the life cycle of all flowering plants and, by extension, all life on earth. However, new studies have found that bees may be serving a more nefarious purpose.

Supernaturalist Martha ‘Buzz’ Averbrook has spent two years electronically tagging and studying more than eight hundred bees. In recent months, she has made by far the most startling discovery of her career.

Up until now the consensus has been that bees hibernate during the cold months. Not so, maintains Averbrook, who posits that bees actually return to the hive to wait. Wait for a signal from their Dark Master.

“Most beehives actually contain a burrow hole that passes through the earths mantel and links to a vast network of subterranean tunnels. Up until now we have assumed that this feature is non-functional. Or perhaps offers some small benefit in terms of ventilation.”

“Our latest findings shows that as the temperature drops below 50 the worker drones begin entering these tunnels and begin a week long journey down to the very depths of Hell. It is not entirely clear why they make this pilgrimage, but from what we know about Hell, it’s probably not for a happy little tea party.”

“It will be an exciting time in spring when the bees return to the surface. We are guessing that the insects will be physically transfigured in some terrible and infernal way. Yep, exciting times.”

All this comes mere months after new research found that butterflies are just magic pixie dream moths.