Health organisation warns against all new blood-only diet craze


woman disgusted at sight of glass of blood
The new diet consists of little other than three glasses of blood a day

Thinking of getting into shape with a new diet this January? Experts have today issued a warning to anyone considering starting the new blood-only* diet craze that has been sweeping across America.

Followers of the latest diet fad claim that consuming nothing other than blood has notable and well documented health benefits. Actual doctors and health experts have dismissed their claims as ‘ridiculous’.

“There is literally no conceivable way that this could be a healthy way to live for a human. I’m genuinely shocked to even be having this discussion,” says Dr. Hugh Cross of Harvard medical school.

Fashion icon Bellatrix LeRoux

With Vampire models such as Bellatrix LeRoux becoming popular icons of fashion and beauty, many have sought out the secret to their youthful beauty.

The blood-only diet and nocturnal lifestyle traditionally associated with Vampires has become a way of life for many humans attempting to look and feel younger, but unwilling to take the immortal plunge into full Vampirism.

Last years diet craze (the Zombie diet, which consisted of regular starvation followed by long sessions of gorging on raw animal flesh) had all but disappeared by the end of February, but blood drinkers are adamant that their ‘way of life’ is here to stay.

*Proponents of the diet have been very vocal on the fact that they do not condone the consumption of human blood and that pigs blood is perfectly sufficient to achieve optimal results while following their ‘health plan’.