Theme park Haunted House closed due to actual haunting


House of Horrors, Tayto Park

A haunted house attraction at Irish theme park ‘Tayto Park’ was today shut down after it was revealed that the house is actually haunted.

Several guests have reported having objects thrown at them while traversing the ghostly abode. Some emerged with scratches all over their bodies and one visitor even claimed that the spirit insulted his mother, implying that she performs lewd activities for monetary gain.

Paranormal investigator Gary Spectre, presenter of the hit TV series ‘Ghost Fandango’, has since visited the site. “What we’ve got here is a Class P spirit, your basic poltergeist,” says Spectre. “They are usually just misguided souls that get frustrated and lash out.”

This is not the first troublesome incident the park has faced in recent weeks. Just before Halloween the house was shut down after a staircase collapsed, injuring several people. The stair collapse is now being attributed to the aggressive spirit, though Gary Spectre warns that this may not be the case.

“We can’t really tell for sure, it’s just as likely that the stair collapse was caused by shoddy workmanship.”

Spectre followed this up by saying: “The important thing is that my team are allowed uninterrupted access to the location so that we can begin and, more importantly, film the removal process.”