Frankenstein’s Monster sick of receiving creator’s mail


Adam Frankenstein, local science experiment and walking reminder of man’s hubris, has petitioned the local council to sort the issue of his creator’s mail and debtors.

Speaking to the Transylvania Times on Wednesday he said that the situation is starting to get out of hand. “It’s ridiculous! Just because the man gave me life, people expect me to automatically assume all the responsibilities he left behind when he died.”

“I’ve already had to tell the funeral home that I am not obligated to cover his costs. It’s not my fault he had to have so many funerals in so short a time. Well, maybe my fault a little…” he said, speaking from the library of his estate.

“Other debtors expecting me to handle his affairs, well it will not happen. He was no father to me, he created me then tried to abandon me. I’ve taken control of his property as a matter of compensation for emotional trauma, but I will not be associated with that vile man.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an urgent matter I must attend,” said Adam as he rose from his high backed armchair, hefting quite a large hammer. “I must seal the dog flap into the kitchen. Just because the Doctor let the Wolfman sleep by the hearth when it’s raining, doesn’t mean I’m going to stand for it. Takes days to get rid of the smell of the soggy bastard!”