Floating child “No cause for alarm” says Gardaí


A floating child who has appeared on Parnell Street is “No cause for alarm” says Gardaí who, at the time of publication, are directing traffic away from the area.

“We have the apparition and all associated electronic disturbances completely under control” stated Sergeant Padric Gilligan who was on the scene.

The child, seemingly a young girl, can be seen floating roughly 4 feet in the air above a swirling vortex emitting a darkness so bright as to be blinding.

“Yes, this has caused some small amount of commotion. The first officer to approach the subject noted that her skin was sepia and cracked, as though he was viewing her through an old photograph. The officer then perceived a loud tolling of bells and, looking at his hands, found that he had aged decades in mere moments.”

“Since that small set-back we have gotten a pretty good handle on the situation. I’m sure everything will be grand in no time” the Sergeant concluded.

At the time of writing officers are continuing to arrive on scene and are establishing a reasonably wide perimeter.

No word as of yet if this ongoing event has any connection to a mishap earlier in the week where an ancient burial site was disturbed by the Gardaí in what is now being described as a ‘tremendously botched drugs raid’.