Irish politician outed as Familiar


Vampire Familiar Patrick Monahan

An international search is underway for Patrick Monahan, a member of the Irish government and delegate to the European Union, who has disappeared following allegations that he is in fact a Familiar to a well known and controversial group of Celtic Vampires known as ‘Fir Ocras’.

Monahan was, until today, a member of the country’s ruling party Fine Gael. Party leader and current Taoiseach (Prime Minister) Enda Kenny was quick to distance the party from him, saying he was ‘shocked’ by the revelation and that he would do everything in his power to ‘ensure that Irish and European politics are not being influenced by the scourge of illegal Vampire groups and their Familiars’.

As a delegate to the European Union, Monahan often spoke out against Europe wide blood donation and storage regulations, of which there had generally been a unanimous consensus. Italian MEP and former EU colleague Mario Lucelli admitted that ‘in hindsight we probably should have been more suspicious’.

Irish and UK police forces are asking that people be vigilant and to immediately report any sightings of Patrick Monahan as his arrest will be crucial in unearthing any further corruption in European politics.